Why divorce is such a tough issue

Four more years of perspective

In light of recent events in my life, I was reviewing my previous article which I realized is now four years old.  Amazingly, my biblical stance has not changed on the issue at all, so I won’t offer any new biblical insights to this problem.  If you wish to read my former article, you may do so here.

What I have found is that divorce is much easier to talk about when emotions are not involved and the biblical guidelines are clear.  The Bible has not changed, nor are God’s guidelines concerning divorce any different from what they were 2000 years ago in Christ’s time, or even 3400 years ago in Moses’ time.  Our problems lie in our emotions.

As I stated early in my previous article, the divorce rate is right around 50% - both in the secular world and in the church.  I believe that the numbers may have dropped slightly below 50% now do to the fact that many people simply aren’t getting married and instead are just living together.  Either way, this is an issue that affects every one of us and in some drastic ways.

The first point that I must make is that we need to be sensitive to the issue.  Likewise however, we must not compromise what the Bible says about the issue.  I know plenty of people who have left churches because of divorce.  Often, it has been over something that the pastor has said to them concerning the issue.  In some cases, the pastor has spoken the truth and they were simply offended.  Other times, the pastor crossed the line and made unloving statements that had no biblical basis.

Although divorce is certainly a problem and not an issue that God likes, the real trouble comes into play in the issue of remarriage.  Many people who are divorced end up remarrying and this is what truly causes problems for pastors and churches.  Divorce itself is not a sin.  God hates it, but nowhere is it ever called a sin.  Remarriage creates the sin of adultery however.

Matthew 5:32 says, "...anyone who marries the divorced woman commits adultery."  We often turn a blind eye to this because it is so prevalent even in the church, but this is a sin.  A recent problem arose in my home church because the pastor would not marry a lady from the congregation because she was marrying a man who had already been divorced.  This is a tough pill to swallow, but anyone who believes in the entire Bible cannot simply ignore statements such as these.

I say this with perspective on how difficult it is to follow such guidelines however.  I recently encountered two attractive ladies, both who seemed to show an interest in me.  One is a Christian, the other all indicators would point to no.  It was only after probably two weeks that I learned that both were divorced. 

This of course left me in a quandary.  Before me was an attractive female, Christian, mature, and showing an interest in me.  She had made one mistake as a young lady and was paying for it now.  It would be very easy to overlook one foolish, youthful mistake.  Our churches preach forgiveness, and rightfully so.  However, as much as I wanted to be able to pursue a relationship, I knew that it would not be right.  I was torn between what my heart wanted and what I knew was right.  After much soul searching and even getting angry with God, I had no option but to follow what the Bible stated so clearly.

Now what of this young lady?  Is she destined to live the rest of her life single?  Unless reconciliation can be made with her husband, the Bible says that she should not marry again.  If her husband dies however, she is free to marry again.  Most people do not desire to live much of their life being single, but if the Bible is to be followed, this is the only option.  I will in no way say that this is easy to do, but I truly believe that God will bless the person who makes the commitment not to remarry.

My own personal convictions have not changed concerning divorce.  They have been tested and through the fire.  I am now a licensed minister and am able under certain conditions to perform weddings.  I could not in good conscience unite two people in marriage with the knowledge that their union would become the sin of adultery.  It is an unpopular stance to take, but it is the most biblical stance I believe I can take on the issue.

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