Divorce
Before I say
anything concerning this matter I must say that I recognize that half of all
marriages end in divorce now, and that anything I say will end up upsetting some
people. For this reason I will try to stick directly with what the Bible
says. It is also important to realize that I have friends as well who are
divorced and love them dearly.
There was nothing
unlawful with divorce within the Israelite community. Moses permitted the
Israelites to divorce and it was legal to do so. Deuteronomy 24:1 says, "If
a man marries a woman who becomes displeasing to him because he finds
something indecent about her, and he writes her a certificate of
divorce..."
It is obvious that
the Israelites were allowed to divorce because Moses gives a process of what
must happen and what shouldn't happen. Another situation in Israelite
history is where the people are told to divorce their foreign wives. Ezra
10:3 says, "Now let us make a covenant before our God to send away all
these women and their children." Sent away in this passage means to
divorce. It is also interesting to note that it was the custom for the
children to remain with the mothers after a divorce.
So we see from the
Old Testament that God does not consider divorce a sin. However, he
doesn't approve of it either. Jesus sums up why God allows divorce in
response to a question by the Pharisees in Matthew 19:8. "Jesus
replied, 'Moses permitted you to divorce your wives because you hearts were
hard. But it was not this way from the beginning. I tell you that
anyone who divorces his wife, except for marital unfaithfulness, and
marries another woman commits adultery.'"
I added the emphasis
on the "and" just so no one misses it and jumps to conclusions too
quickly. We'll cover that shortly. God allowed divorce because he
said that the Israelites hearts were hard; a state that none of us want to be
in.
Possibly the most
uncomfortable verse though concerning divorce is found in Malachi 2:16.
It's blunt but hold on for an explanation. "'I hate divorce,' says
the Lord God of Israel..." I can't do much about what it says, only
offer that God still never declared it a sin. As much as God dislikes
divorce, there is never a penalty issued for anyone who does such. All of
the laws issued by God carried a penalty to those who broke them, divorce,
however, never has a penalty and therefore isn't a sin.
However, there are
things surrounding divorce that are sins. Adultery is the major one.
As we saw in the verse above, anyone who divorces his wife and marries another
woman commits adultery. This isn't my rule or something that someone made
up, this is directly form the Bible. Despite the fact that legally two
people may divorced, people are still married in God's eyes. The two have
become one flesh. "Therefore what God has joined together, let no man
separate." Matthew 19:6. This is true until the divorced spouse
dies. As I Corinthians 7:39 says, "A woman is bound to her husband as
long as he lives. But if her husband dies, she is free to marry anyone she
wishes, but he must belong to the Lord."
It works in reverse
as well, Jesus told us that we are not to marry someone who is divorced or we
will commit adultery. Matthew 5:32 says, "...anyone who marries the
divorced woman commits adultery." This is another hard pill to
swallow. I know people that have been divorced and married again. I
know people that have married divorced people. And I know people who have
been divorced and refrained from remarrying because of God's commands concerning
divorce.
Does God honor the second
marriage of a divorced person or could it be a long adulterous relationship in
his view? To be truthful I don't know. I can't back it up with
scripture. However, I do know from experience that God has blessed
marriages of divorced people that have committed to serving him. And we
all sin, and no one sin is any worse than any other. God views the liar,
gossip, thief, and adulterer all the same. We are all sinners who need
God's grace, and I thank him for that.
The issue of
marriage has a lot of depth to it and there is too much for me to cover in this.
If you want to read more about God's will concerning marriage and divorce, read
I Corinthians chapter 7. I believe that this clearly lays out most of
God's commands surrounding this issue.
So this leaves us
with three applications. One for the married, one for the unmarried, and
one for the divorced. If you are married, try to stay married. As we
looked at, God hates divorce. It isn't a sin, but can easily lead to sin
in an adulterous relationship in his eyes. If things seem unbearable, get
help. Talk to your pastor or someone in the church that can help you.
And ask God for help to make your relationship and commitment last a lifetime.
If you are
unmarried, choose your mate wisely. God looks at marrying a divorced
person as adultery. Sorry to be blunt, but the Bible is and I'm only
repeating what the Bible says.
If you are divorced,
don't remarry. God looks at this as adultery as well. I truly
believe that God will bless you richly if you keep this commitment to him.
Just as Paul talked about those who were unmarried in I Cor. 7, a divorced
person has more time that they can devote to the things of God.
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