Divorce

Before I say anything concerning this matter I must say that I recognize that half of all marriages end in divorce now, and that anything I say will end up upsetting some people.  For this reason I will try to stick directly with what the Bible says.  It is also important to realize that I have friends as well who are divorced and love them dearly.

There was nothing unlawful with divorce within the Israelite community.  Moses permitted the Israelites to divorce and it was legal to do so. Deuteronomy 24:1 says, "If a man marries a woman who becomes displeasing to him because he finds something indecent about her, and he writes her a certificate of divorce..."

It is obvious that the Israelites were allowed to divorce because Moses gives a process of what must happen and what shouldn't happen.  Another situation in Israelite history is where the people are told to divorce their foreign wives.  Ezra 10:3 says, "Now let us make a covenant before our God to send away all these women and their children."  Sent away in this passage means to divorce.  It is also interesting to note that it was the custom for the children to remain with the mothers after a divorce. 

So we see from the Old Testament that God does not consider divorce a sin.  However, he doesn't approve of it either.  Jesus sums up why God allows divorce in response to a question by the Pharisees in Matthew 19:8.  "Jesus replied, 'Moses permitted you to divorce your wives because you hearts were hard.  But it was not this way from the beginning.  I tell you that anyone who divorces his wife, except for marital unfaithfulness, and marries another woman commits adultery.'"

I added the emphasis on the "and" just so no one misses it and jumps to conclusions too quickly.  We'll cover that shortly.  God allowed divorce because he said that the Israelites hearts were hard; a state that none of us want to be in.

Possibly the most uncomfortable verse though concerning divorce is found in Malachi 2:16.  It's blunt but hold on for an explanation.  "'I hate divorce,' says the Lord God of Israel..."  I can't do much about what it says, only offer that God still never declared it a sin.  As much as God dislikes divorce, there is never a penalty issued for anyone who does such.  All of the laws issued by God carried a penalty to those who broke them, divorce, however, never has a penalty and therefore isn't a sin.

However, there are things surrounding divorce that are sins.  Adultery is the major one.  As we saw in the verse above, anyone who divorces his wife and marries another woman commits adultery.  This isn't my rule or something that someone made up, this is directly form the Bible.  Despite the fact that legally two people may divorced, people are still married in God's eyes.  The two have become one flesh.  "Therefore what God has joined together, let no man separate."  Matthew 19:6.  This is true until the divorced spouse dies.  As I Corinthians 7:39 says, "A woman is bound to her husband as long as he lives.  But if her husband dies, she is free to marry anyone she wishes, but he must belong to the Lord."

It works in reverse as well, Jesus told us that we are not to marry someone who is divorced or we will commit adultery.  Matthew 5:32 says, "...anyone who marries the divorced woman commits adultery."  This is another hard pill to swallow.  I know people that have been divorced and married again.  I know people that have married divorced people.  And I know people who have been divorced and refrained from remarrying because of God's commands concerning divorce.

Does God honor the second marriage of a divorced person or could it be a long adulterous relationship in his view?  To be truthful I don't know.  I can't back it up with scripture.  However, I do know from experience that God has blessed marriages of divorced people that have committed to serving him.  And we all sin, and no one sin is any worse than any other.  God views the liar, gossip, thief, and adulterer all the same.  We are all sinners who need God's grace, and I thank him for that.

The issue of marriage has a lot of depth to it and there is too much for me to cover in this.  If you want to read more about God's will concerning marriage and divorce, read I Corinthians chapter 7.  I believe that this clearly lays out most of God's commands surrounding this issue. 

So this leaves us with three applications.  One for the married, one for the unmarried, and one for the divorced.  If you are married, try to stay married.  As we looked at, God hates divorce.  It isn't a sin, but can easily lead to sin in an adulterous relationship in his eyes.  If things seem unbearable, get help.  Talk to your pastor or someone in the church that can help you.  And ask God for help to make your relationship and commitment last a lifetime.

If you are unmarried, choose your mate wisely.  God looks at marrying a divorced person as adultery.  Sorry to be blunt, but the Bible is and I'm only repeating what the Bible says.

If you are divorced, don't remarry.  God looks at this as adultery as well.  I truly believe that God will bless you richly if you keep this commitment to him.  Just as Paul talked about those who were unmarried in I Cor. 7, a divorced person has more time that they can devote to the things of God.